I haven’t posted much in a while. My digital presence overall has been quite slim since returning to the US from Germany and completing my graduate thesis. I feel as though nothing is happening. Most of what I could say a year ago is still true today … and this saddens me. How can someone be so completely stuck?
I am working (praise God!), but I am still looking for a career – something to get my passions and dreams going again. I’m finding job hunting rather depressing. When I come across an advertisement for an opening, besides looking at the required qualifications, I gauge potential by if I can see myself there – doing the listed tasks and living in the area. And because I have an imagination, I imagine how the move would work, what area of town I would look for a place to live, nearby parks and grocers – I begin to invest in the dream. And then I deflate. Reality returns. I am stuck waiting for news. And after a year of this, I deflate quicker by letting past experience speak into the presence.
It’s difficult to make any plans because I have no concept what next month could look like. Will I still be in the place I am now or employed in a different state or even country? I quite like change, but the flip side to that is not having any predictability at all. That I can do without. So dash it all! Time to plan another travel vacation despite the uncertainties … and Italy is on the agenda 🙂