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I don’t much care for non-movement (although I suppose moving backwards is worse). Physically and metaphorically.

So the UN hiring exam is done. Now waiting. Waiting for February or March to receive a response about the next steps or not.

Thesis, and thus the Master’s program, is done. Now waiting. Waiting until who knows when to receive the final results and diploma.

Other long-term career options (other than the UN) are being sifted through and several applications have been sent out. Waiting – on both “them” and me. I think this is active waiting – it’s preparatory waiting. The jobs that interest me in the domestic realm of things are municipal planning positions throughout the US. Although what I’ll do if I’m offered one of those positions before hearing back from the UN, I don’t know.

Part-time work to earn money is FINALLY underway. Applications that I sent out in November finally came through. In one day, I went from being broke and jobless to having two jobs (and still broke). I was even called for an interview the day after I signed on at the full-time job. Yeah, thanks. Except even here I’m waiting. I’ve signed a contract, filled out personal information, completed the appropriate tax forms and had an introductory view at the position, but I haven’t been able to start scheduled, consistent hours. This is driving me nuts.

In other but similar news, being broke, I felt it wouldn’t be a responsible use of my non-income to continue with, well, anything that costs money … so there went my fitness club membership and a data plan on my mobile.

I like having direction in life, but I also enjoy movement. This holding pattern that I’ve been in for the past couple of months is waging a war with my spirit. I really need to do something productive, towards a goal, something active. It’s hard not to feel useless or a burden on others’ gratitude when you have nothing tangible to offer. I want to live a life of purpose, which I don’t really feel right now.

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